Not About
Sorry/not sorry
Our coaching is not about...
I went back and forth in my head, many times, on whether or not I should include this “Not About” page. I weighed the pros and cons – the risks and rewards.
Ultimately, I asked myself this question: “What’s going to be best for guys that are struggling to improve their love lives?”
If I needed help in attracting love into my life – real help, that was meant to last – would I like a coach to strictly tell me about themselves, and what they teach, or would I appreciate some contrast? In other words, would I appreciate learning what they’re NOT about, what I should watch out for in this industry, when selecting a coach – potential pitfalls, and dangers?
If this was all about me, doing what’s easy, and looking out for my own commercial interests, then I’d keep things strictly positive. I’d simply state the features and benefits of my coaching, and leave well-enough alone when it comes to what I’ve seen from many of my competitors. But, this isn’t all about me. It’s about doing the right thing, and providing the best guidance that I possibly can. That means separating myself from the pack.
I’ve done my best to keep this “Not About” page clinical, unemotional, and professional. Further, I will not call out other coaches by name. This is for the man that’s understandably as frustrated with finding a reliable coach as he is frustrated with his love life. Take note. Finally, be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page for more “Not About”.
to name a few things we're not about
Without further ado, we are not about...
Extravagant Promises
You’ll notice there’s been no mention, anywhere on my site, of “easily and effortlessly attracting women”. The reality is that some clients take off like rocket ships, some like jet planes, some struggle to get off the ground but eventually get to cruising altitude, and some never achieve liftoff.
We always aim to produce as dramatic of a transformation, in as little time as possible, but results vary widely. Anyone that claims otherwise, isn’t giving it to you straight.
Imposing Our Way
Hopefully, you’ve noticed that throughout our website we have repeatedly emphasized the promise of customization, and always respecting a client’s preferences. If a client so chooses, we can provide very explicit breakdowns of how we, personally, go about the dating game.
In fact, most clients want to know how we, ourselves, do this thing. But, it’s one thing to show our clients how we do it, and another to demand that they do as we do. There are times when I know, with almost 100% certainty, that a client would greatly benefit from doing things a certain way. I may strongly suggest that they consider what I’m proposing. However, as much as it sometimes pains me, I must ultimately defer to the client’s better judgment.
Nobody knows better than you what’s best for you. My coaches and I will guide, suggest, and sometimes strongly urge, but we never demand obedience through force.
Politicizing Our Coaching
Our job isn’t to rescue masculinity from the clutches of feminism, nor is it our job to feminize men, make them more sensitive, break stereotypes, or push any other highly politicized agenda. As has been repeatedly stated, we work with men of all different walks of life, and political affiliations are no different.
We do not demand that our team members or clients fit a certain political mold, and we generally keep politics-related discussions outside of the coaching environment. We do, however, teach men to tactfully navigate these sensitive topics with prospective women. Political inclinations are important to many people; political discussion often come up on dates.
We’re just not about mixing in half-baked political stands with our coaching, nor do we have any latent political agendas. That’s not what we’re being paid for.
Catering to “Highly Successful” Men
There can be some unique dating challenges for men that are highly financially successful, but, typically, when a coach claims that they works with “successful” and “driven” men, like computer programs, engineers, lawyers, entrepreneurs, and doctors, that’s usually code for, “We charge a lot...
of money for our coaching,” and, “We want people to think our coaching is exclusive.” These are nothing more than priming sales tactics. Clients are often disappointed to learn that the coaching was not all that exclusive, nor was it really uniquely tailored to men of “high value”.
The truth is that many broad concepts, strategies, and tactics for attracting women can be applied by just about anyone, if they’re taught properly. Whether you’re extremely materially successful, or not, all of our teachings are fully customizable. And, yes, of course we have some exclusive offers for men that desire an executive level experience. However, we don’t mask our training as reserved for a certain stock of man, just so that we can justify high prices.
Pushy Sales Tactics
There’s an element of salesmanship to being a dating coach. Men that need help in their dating lives often need a strong, guiding hand, but we don’t lure men into free consultations only to hammer them with hard selling tactics. Whether a prospective client turns into an actual paying client, or not, we aim to leave people better off.
We don’t add insult to injury, dig into pain, or play manipulative games with peoples’ emotions. We don’t threaten clients with smoke in mirror discounts. You deserve to work with coaches that take a sincere interest in your story, your goals, your dreams, and that starts with an honest, thorough consultation, not a sales pitch disguised as a free coaching call.
Defining What a “High Quality” Woman Is
You’ll find no mention of learning to attract “quality” women on our website, and for good reason. First, it’s not up to us to tell you what a quality woman is. We don’t even think through that lens. We’re interested in helping you to attract your ideal woman. Now, if I were to put on a superficial frame of mind...
my definition of a quality woman is probably not all that different from yours. Many of you are interested in attracting women that are the total package, according to mainstream societal standards. Most men are drawn to women that are healthy, attractive, smart, honest, trustworthy, and emotionally stable. We can teach you how to meet such women.
Regardless, we’re not here to judge your taste in women, and we strongly encourage you to question the integrity of any coaches that make claims of specializing in attracting high quality women.
Just like our “About” page we could continue on about what we’re “Not About” all day, but by now you should be getting a good feel for the way we do things.
What do you say we get you signed up for a consultation already?
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
"Not about" FAQs...
No. Before signing up for training, we set realistic expectations with clients. Read the fine print of any coach that offers some sort of “success guarantee” and you’ll typically find a long list of requirements in order to qualify for a refund. Miss one requirement – a weekly check-in call because you were sick, for example – and your guarantee is no longer valid. We prefer underpromising, and overdelivering.
No. “Red pill” dating coaches claim to specialize in teaching men about women’s “true” nature – a nature that’s opposite of what most of us have been taught. While mainstream society would like us to believe that women are “sugar and spice, and all things nice”, the reality is that they’re selfish, power-hungry, and hierarchical, according to red pill ideology. Red pill dating coaches typically politicize their coaching – mixing half-baked political stances with half-baked dating advice that’s largely based on theory, and not real-world experience. Red pill coaches spend excessive amounts of time discussing dark aspects of human nature, particularly as they pertain to women and dating. They make broad, sweeping generalizations about male-female dynamics, and build dating strategies that more closely resemble a quest for power, than a quest for authentic human connections.
Forgive me for being blunt, but most of the red pill coaches that I’ve seen don’t appear to fully understand women, and they appear to be struggling to obtain proficiency in their dating lives, themselves. They seem more interested in building audiences on their social media platforms, than actually helping men to improve their love lives.
At datingcoachformen.com, we believe that there are dark aspects of human behavior that are worth noting, but not dwelling on. While we incorporate science-backed concepts into our teachings, we’re not bound by doomsday theories that paint women in an adversarial light.
No. All too often, I see dating coaches giving general life advice – typically imposing their opinions on how one should live their life according to their own standards. At the same time, they hardly offer any substantive dating advice. They’re similar to business coaches that give all sorts of great advice on being driven, overcoming obstacles, and having a mission, but that don’t show their clients how to actually set up an accounting system, write a business plan, and bring a product to market.
We believe in holistic training for our clients. We offer advice on lifestyle, fashion, mindset, career, and other high-level matters that do make a difference in one’s love life, but we go much further than that. We offer practical, rational, applicable dating-centric solutions, with no ambiguity. This includes giving our clients systems, tactics, techniques, and other forms of tangible instruction, all the while making everything fully customizable.
